Friday, May 28, 2010

Select-Select Prospective Husband: No Kan Loss More Selective

Tri since sat on the bench two high school classes had been decided not to go out, "ogah ngabisin time, mind, heart and energy to that one." A loose principle to college is still firmly held. Actually, not just principles, but is a process for him to further divide their time familiarizing yourself, mind, heart and energy only to the Creator, Allah. For some people, maybe Tri is not lucky girl, because it is old enough yet never felt the beauty of dating periods. But not for some other, more fortunate than the Tri courtship and often mutually boyfriend, Tri has proved that he was not easily achieved by a careless man, that he was better able to control his heart, that his life could be more calm and safe until more County making love in the Creator alone. Tri convinced that her soul mate in the hands of God, when the time comes, he will come himself and ask for her hand. Tri prefer to call it dating from the Lord called Mujahid. What matters to him is how to guide and nurture ourselves to become women sholehah.

"Mbak Tri, actually type that mba dream how husband anyway?" Said Oppie. Teenage girl, the only Tri ade.
"Emangnya why?" Asked Tri short.
"Want to know aja."
"This Abisnya who do not agree, that it was shaking his head, Oppie was confused. Emang criteria you doing? "Tri smile to see her sister's face seriously.

"First, religious and moral good, then stay away from vices, a strong spirit of jihad, from the pious family, obedient to parents, self-reliance in economy, equal or better quality, can lead, responsible, fair, fine acting, not miserly , and .... "
"Stop ... stop ... stop!" Said Oppie.
"What's begituan sampe grandmothers would not have met Mbak," added Oppie.
"God willing there." Unequivocal Tri confident, smiling. Oppie open, shocked. And Tri passed from her sight.


Tri was not mistaken in setting the criteria for candidate companion of his life, because for him there by his side the man who would be the man who can be invited along with the Koran, prayer congregation, learn, work. Men are able to inculcate noble morality for themselves and their children someday. No excessive dreams, yet every woman wants a better life and good in the world and the Hereafter. Nothing wrong with what kind of criteria Tri diungkapnya. Choosing a mate did not need half-hearted, it's no good relying on sheer material or mere handsomeness.

For Tri, women also must have the ideal criteria, though not through dating, women also can specify options in accordance with the principle. So that Muslim women do not fall into the trap of the man who hurt the religious life of the household and later, every woman or a parent or guardian needs to selectively against a man who asks himself or the child or a woman under perwaliannya be a wife. Given the function of a husband who became a leader and a good example for her family, a Muslim woman or a parent or guardian must not underestimate the quality problem of religious men who become her future husband.

Many ways to know the candidate's husband briefly through the process without courtship. Like the Tri. Tri'm sure many people are more subjective opinion than the opinion of one person. Of course, people referred to are the people who can be trusted and trustworthy, like the opinion of the Tri family, his family, neighbors, close friends, and most importantly is a signal from God. How do Tri do that in a short time, even without passing courtship? Look nih ....

Religious morals & Noble
To determine whether the prospective husband both religious and a certain character, it can be done by:

1. Ask and investigate carefully how far the man's religion and how the moral, devout followers pray five times, run the fasting of Ramadan abiding, obedient to parents, along with neighbors, and his attitude toward the weak or poor.

2. Note the interaction friends, whether they are religious or devout run like disobeying Allaah.

Away from the sinners
1. Asked the prospective husband or immediate neighbors about the background of his life, whether he had gambling, drinking, doing free sex or not, and how his attitude toward friends who gamble or drink alcohol, or make sex intercourse free.

2. Test your knowledge of the acts that are considered major sins in Islam.

1. Ask close friends if he likes to follow missionary activity, such as taking care of the mosque, helping recitation, etc., or not.

2. Observe and examine the state of his family whether they like to help missionary activities or not.

3. Test candidates with several cases of abuse or harassment of religion, whether concerned feels compelled to defend his religion or not. Observe how his attitude when knowing there is a mosque was burned by non-Islamic people, such as whether he was silent or angry.

1. Check the family about how prayer, fasting, his efforts to get sustenance, the obligation to pay zakat, etc..

2. Check the neighborhood, whether neighbors salih people or people who like disobeying Allaah and in the village there is a mosque or not.

3. Check the work environment, whether he works in place of doing business in a lawful or unlawful and whether his friend likes to do activities or adherence to the religion of sinners.

Check on family members or close relatives and neighbors.

Ask directly, on family, neighbors or close friends about whether she actually worked or not. Is income eligible for a husband or wife has not.

Test his religious knowledge, intellectual (how his attitude when he does not have the money to go home, while he had heard the pain in his parents' village), mental (how his attitude when diamanahi money by others, while at the time he needed money for medical treatment), emotional (what did he do when late getting food section), compliance (how his attitude when he prohibited from entering into a room, while in the place left behind his wallet), and the seriousness and toughness (how bilka told to keep the door of his turnover, whether the person late expressly prohibited so as not to go though your own brother or future wife).

1. Ask a psychological test that can measure the level of leadership abilities of candidates.

2. Investigate the behavior and personality of candidates in the association with his friends.

3. Discover the personality of the candidate in the midst of his family, whether he who has the ability to lead or not

4. Notice the way he completed the tasks entrusted to him, if it can be done well or not.

1. Investigate and observe closely the behavior of candidates in the shoulder the tasks entrusted to him. (For instance how the attitude he had when entrusted the goods to be delivered to another person, whether he do it well or not)

2. Ask your close friends, how he runs the tasks that it was his duty, whether he did with full responsibility or not. (How is his attitude when asked parents to go shopping, whether the money is spent properly or not)

3. Rigorous environmental conditions and their families, whether it includes the people who like to perform the duties with full responsibility or not. (What was his manner when entrusted with saving money, whether used for personal purposes or not)

4. Test candidates with a task or persoalah to be known how much responsibility to overcome the problem.

1. Ask friends or family nearby, whether in association with them he always act fairly ataukau sometimes fair, sometimes foul or more foul than fair or more unselfish and like to harm others.

2. Test candidates with some action, such as distributing donations of food dikampungnya tell whether he put his close friend and ignoring the others or treat them the same.

3. Discover the habits and behavior by a fellow brother in the family, whether he was a fair person or people who like to harm the interests of his brother.

SMOOTH behave
1. Note the candidate and his family habits, whether they like to do rude and cruel or not

2. Ask friends or neighbors nearby, whether the candidate or his family everyday to behave friendly and fine or coarse and cruel to people.

3. Ask the maid or waitress if you have, whether they are often treated harshly and cruelly or harshly and cruelly treated or treated fine and honorable.

4. Ask some questions that are psychological tests that can be known whether he was the type to rough and harsh or smooth and glorious.

NOT parsimonious
1. Ask friends, neighbors or family, whether the candidates are stingy or generous.

2. Test with a few cases, for example ask to help meet the needs of orphans or the aged.

3. Thorough family habits, whether they are stingy or generous.

NOT Impotent
1. Ask the candidates about the state itself. The candidate must be answered honestly or with the name of God. If he lied, he should dare to bear the risks responsible for the future. This method is less effective, but as a Muslim in this way grow Hereafter responsibility a far more severe for those concerned.

2. Ask candidates to conduct sexual health tests, whether it includes the person impotence or normal.

1. Is he happy to have kids or not?

2. Ask the candidate to do medical tests to determine if he has a fertile seed or not.

So many things to express an honest Muslim woman relates to choosing the right mate. It takes time and process, enjoy the process while maintaining the honor and glory of the moral self. To find the answers to the above ways, the Muslim woman can ask for immediate help people who can be trusted. Maybe not all the way done, a Muslim woman is more important to know what dimaunya. Anyway no more selectively choose a loss husband, wong stakes heaven or hell. If it was not yet appropriate as age increased, do not be upset because God must have a plan A, B, C, etc are much better for him. God sees the process of a problem, instead of looking at the results.

(Fairuz, Source: Choosing a husband, M. Talib)

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