What Not to stop you For my sister was kept

Hijab is a Muslim women's clothing that covers the head to foot (including the hijab / caps and baggy clothes that do not show the curve of her body). For the layman, the hijab issue may be considered a simple problem. But verily, he is a big problem. Because he is a sure command of Allah in it contained a lot of wisdom and very great. When Allah Almighty ordered us a command, He knows that the order is for the benefit of us and one for the achievement of happiness, glory and greatness of women.

As word of Allah Almighty: "O Prophet, tell your wives, daughters and wives of the believers to reach their head throughout the body, so that they might more easily to be known, so they do not digangguÂ". ( QS. Al Ahzab: 59)

The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam once said: "There will be at the end of my people riding saddle men who like men, they get off at the front door of the mosque, the women they dress (but) naked, above their heads (there is one) like a hump graceful camel. Laknatlah them! Sesunggunya they are cursed women. "(Narrated by Imam Ahmad (2 / 33))

Word of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam also said: "Two groups, including residents of Hell, I (myself) had never seen them, which is like a man who leads a whip like cattle, with which they whipped the man and woman who is dressed (but) bare, berlenggak sway sway, their heads (there is one) like a camel's hump niddle rocking. They certainly will not go to Heaven, not even a smell. And indeed it was the smell wafted from Paradise travel distance and so many. "(Narrated by Muslim, hadith no. 2128).

Of our times are many reasons or causes that are often used as a reason why the women were reluctant to he was kept, including:

1. Still not well
When ukhti / sisters argue with this doubtful should be able to distinguish between two things. Namely between the commands of God with the human command. While still in command of human, then the person can not be forced to accept. But when the command of Allah there is no reason for people to say I am still not well, because humans can drag on big danger is out of the religion of Allah SWT for with so he does not believe and doubt the truth of the command.

God Almighty Allah says: "And not worthy of believing men and women mukminah, when Allah and His Messenger has established an ordinance, there will be other choices for them about their affairs. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he verily have been misguided, misguided real. "(Surat al-Ahzab: 36)

2. It is situated in the heart of faith is not in outward appearance
The ukhti / sisters who have not tried to interpret the hadith he was kept, but does not match what was intended, like the words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'Peace be upon Wasalam: "Verily, Allah does not look at other forms of (surface) and treasure your wealth but He looks at the heart and all your deeds . '(Narrated by Muslim, Hadith no. 2564 from Abu Hurairah).

Apparently they are deflected to abort its true meaning on kebathilan. True Faith is situated hearts but Faith was not perfect when it is in my heart. Faith in the liver alone is not enough to save themselves from Hell and get to heaven. Because the definition of Faith According to the scholars of Ahlus Sunnah wal jumhur Jama: "belief in the liver, with the oral pronunciation, and the implementation by member agencies." And also stated in the Quran whenever called word of faith, is always accompanied with charities, such as: "Those who believe and do righteous ....". Because the charity is always in conjunction with the faith, they can not be broken apart.

3. God has not given me guidance
Sister / sister who was mired in such a clear mistake. Because if the people who want guidance, and prefers that others pray for him to get it, he must try harder with the causes that can deliver it so get such guidance. As word of Allah: "Verily, Allah does not change the state of a people so that they change the circumstances that existed at themselves sendiri.Â" (Surah Ar-Ra'd: 11).

Therefore, O uhkti / sisters, try to obtain the causes of the guidance, such guidance would you get with the permission of Allah SWT. Diatara business was praying to get guidance, to choose friends who shalihah, always reading, studying and meditating on the Book of Allah, following the dhikr and assemblies and other religious speech.

4.Takut not sell marriage
This doubtful whispered by Satan in the soul because of the feeling that the youth would not decide to get married unless she had seen the body, hair, skin, beauty and the girl's jewelry. Although beauty is one of the most fundamental cause of marriage, but he was not the only reason he married her.

Â'Alaihi Prophet pbuh said: "She was married for four things: that is because wealth, lineage, her beauty and her religion. Check out women who cling to religion, (if not) necessarily hands smeared with dust." (Narrated by Al Bukhari, kitaabun marriage, 9 / 115).

5. Today he still does not
Indeed the trustees, either father or mother who prevents the child was kept daughter, ostensibly because it is still immature, they have a tremendous responsibility before God Almighty on the Day of Resurrection. Because according to the Shari'a as a girl get menstruation, immediately he is also mandatory for he was kept.

6. My parents and my husband was kept prohibits
Basic issue here is that obedience to God Almighty to have precedence over keta'atan beings whoever he is. As mentioned in the saheeh hadeeth:

"Actually it was only in virtue of obedience." (Narrated by Al Bukhari and Muslim). And the word of the Apostle in another hadith: "And should not the creature with disobeyed ta'at (adulterous) to Al-Khaliq." (Narrated by Imam Ahmad, this hadeeth saheeh).

Therefore, O ukhti yet he was kept, hopefully this paper form the opening of the locked heart, thrilling sense of who was asleep, so it can restore all the Sisters who have not menta'ati orders he was kept, to the nature that Allah has commanded.

(Quoted from a book titled original mistranslation Muhajjabah Mal Ila Sister Ghairil Maani'u Minal Hijab? By Sheikh Abdul Hamid Al Bilaly).

And Allaah knows best.

Hj. Dewi Setiani
The author is domiciled in Jogjakarta

Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

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If I Should Marry

A few days ago, one of my friends asked me about when I will fulfill my Dien half. Mmhh .. tough question for me to answer:). Frankly, my age has got a yellow light for a standard size of married women. You could say the ripe age. But wait, someone does not guarantee the age of maturity of a person, a good way of looking or thinking. And whether or not mature size can become no parameters / specifications clearly.

Problem fulfill half Dien, I also know that if married Rosul sunnah. But, marriage is not only unite a man and a woman only. Also married a missionary meeting, a meeting that will increase productivity ghirah struggle and propaganda that resulted in a wider spread of propaganda again (Red. Diary of A Sister). See .. marriage was not maen-maen?! There are things even tougher than pleasure and it is clearly will be prosecuted to account dipengadilan end.

Okay, I'll get married. But what kind of candidate? Sheikh Mustafa Masyhur his opinion, to build a Muslim family which is based on piety, the first time a Muslim had to find a good partner who understands the task has become Muslim and the minutes of his life. Making his life partner as a good missionary friends, who always reminded when he forgets, giving encouragement and did not stop him preaching. See, means, I need to find a good partner and understand Islamic treatise task of his life (in other words is a pious person).

Problem pious, my first thought, with the pious only, the other special properties will follow. Apparently not. In addition to the criteria of pious, we must also be able to identify the candidate in the eyes of our privilege. For what? Yes .. so that our life more colorful with his presence. Because marriage is not just for one or two years only, but could be our lifetime, as long as the breath out of our spirit. Can be imagined, if the candidate turns out not to have distinctive to our hearts, how to color our lives one day?! Pale, without color. And about the Falling in love at first sight! Mmhh .. why not?

So did mine. I do not want to marry solely because the candidate I have seen the excess (if any). I want to marry someone because of my privileged eyes, can make a rainbow glow of genuine happiness on her face, and can membumikan love into his heart. And with a sincere smile of all, he was able to make my heart tremble with gratitude compassion will grace.

Yes, Lord, Grant servant servant pious one who can make the slave a wife who sholehah, which can make the mother of the slave-jundiMu Jundi, who can help enforce dienMu servant, our parents happy to leave this world in a state Khusnul khatimah , and made the servants of heaven .. akhlus Amin ya Allah ya robbal alamin.

Bish Wallahualam showab.

Irma

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Beautiful Flowers in the Meadow Middle

Who among you who have never heard the saying "Do not know it would not be in love?". Of course it all already heard, both at the time of the lessons in proverbs Subjects Indonesian or in everyday interactions because of this proverb is often used by people. Now, instead there are a few changes and additions to the word in the proverb. Which is to become "Do not Know So TaÂ'aruf."

Berbedakah both?

From the second sentence, in fact there are differences in meaning if only a little and very thin. Place a permisalan. If you meet someone that you do not know at all, of course you want to know more and the desire to know him was so strong it appears in your self. You want to know what's his name, where he lived, what activities and everything that menyelingkupi your new friend's life. Under these conditions, the proverbial 'new' will be applied, "Do not Know So TaÂ'aruf."

Did you know that actually in the process of introduction that there has been a process that also grow in us. That is a process of sorting a group of friends. At the time we begin to launch a series of questions to him without we realize that we are looking for is equality and conformity in some respects an event that would be gluten introduction.

"Uh .. do not like to read books? "or" Oh, you live there, yah? Hmm, I have friends there, known as A is not well, he lived on the block Z. "

Adhesive processes in many people this relationship is defined as a process of "Do not Know it's Love.". No one realized that the real meaning of understanding is not merely an introduction will end with something sweet as expected in these sayings. There are times when, after an introduction occurs, then the introduction of self continues in each case further, a relationship of 'introduction' can be ended also participate along with the separation that occurs in a meeting. Why did this happen?

It has become a human need to be able to gain trust and security in themselves. This is what happens in the process of sorting a new group of friends who we know. Yup. There is an other process in an introduction that we unknowingly have lead us to perform a sorting and highly subjective because we need confidence and a sense of security and such.

Without we realize we start sorting and searching data whether he was quite helpful as a friend or not, there is a term which may be more fitting but its connotation in some people might hurt sensitive ears, which is "how decent people who just know that you can become your friend. "

"How inappropriate ...", sounding very arrogant and unfriendly yah? But despite sounding very rude, that's what actually happens in a process of introduction. In a simple mind, how might we be able to put our trust in someone who did not we know? In simple minds, how can we feel safe with someone who did not we know? Again, in simple minds, how we might provide a sense of affection, our love to someone we do not know. Is not "No know it's Love?"

And this is the ketertakjubanku on natural events that I actually got me thinking, is not always possible for a meeting with someone who we know we're not going to give birth to ta'aruf desire, and affection could have happened without a preceded by an introduction that contains a field biodata yang must be filled in the blank common digestive thoughts (ask your name, address, etc.).

The first event is an event in a city bus drove slowly on a jammed highway on the outskirts of Jakarta which was already very solid all the way to the vehicle body lines are milling about every day.

Days when it's hot enough and the smell of sweat began to spread passengers raises an uncomfortable feeling. Next to me sat a head-scarf girls, who was rather large. He is engrossed in reading a book. I glanced at the book in his hand and recognizes it as one of the books that often I see on display at the bookstore.

Casually (this really fun question because I'm getting fed up with waiting periods of traffic congestion), I began to ask about what books he read. The girl showed me the title. Then I began asking the question what the contents of the book ostentatiously friendly and the girl serving my questions patiently and full of smiles.

Hmm, it seems he began to understand the discomfort that I experienced in the crowded city bus and alienation to get rid of my seat so hard with full sincerity that girl to give time to answer my question. Without we realized we were involved a discussion of interesting and fun.

I really enjoyed reading and even happier if someone invited to exchange ideas about a topic from a material that I have ever read or I know. Imperceptibly until the final destination has arrived. The girl first had to get off of me and what he did later make me quite open and very impressive at a meeting with him.

"I want to give this book to you."

Subhanallah. I know in our conversations was that the book was not two hours ago he bought in bookstores. Even into the mid-page any girl reading it has not been completed. How could she just give it to me earlier when he'd just said that he wanted the book for a long time so that little by little she saved her pocket money to buy the book.

"No. I do not want it. The book is yours, you have not finished reading it, read the first process to finish. "I reject it out loud.

"But I want to give this book to you." She was adamant.

"No."

"Accept it. Consider this my gift to you, you really deserve it. Come, take this book as a memento from me because I do not know when we will meet again in time to come. "

Duhai. Sentence raises a profound emotion, I hesitated for a moment but soon realized that this was not the time to be melancholy. "No. I can not accept. "

"Please accept this gift. You have not read it, read it, I've read some and it is very interesting, while you have not read it at all, I want you to read it too and read to the end. "

"Why?" I asked stupidly. I really do not know why she insisted on giving her new book to me.

"Why do you want to give me your new book, whereas you want this book for a long time. Why? "

"Because I love you. I want to give my best for you and now that I have is this my new book. Believe me I love you because God alone, so if you want this time other than me, like my eyes, my hair, my hands, all will give you this minute because I love you because God alone. "

I'm even more dumbfounded. There is no one-hour discussion, but we talked and affection which he has been so profound to me while I had his name because he did not know I make a friend just to kill time jenuhku inside the vehicle.

There is a growing sense of emotion that swelled in my chest to hear his last string of sentences at a time gave birth to a clear encouragement to publish the pearls from the point of my eyelids. I can not say anything because of emotion and bandaged it had changed hands, placed her inside the mine while she prepares to step down from the vehicle. At the next stop she began to stand aside.

"Mbak .. thanks yah. I do not know how to respond we have not even had time to get acquainted. Mbak also do not know who I am. "She was just a friendly smile to hear the sentence that may sound very stupid.

"It's not important. Which I know you are my sisters in Islam. Hopefully we can meet in the other with each opportunity in better condition. "

Then the bus stopped and after saying hello, covered girls shot down while waving his hand to me. I returned his greeting with a smile and after he disappeared from my sight I began to read the title of his book.

"Being Muslim kaffah."

Hmm, maybe he gave the book because I have not covered. Yup. Indeed it happened so long ago, when I was in college and still a lot to consider so many things that have not incurred a strong desire to cover auratku complete with a proper hijab.

I was very impressed with the event because the campus, the other Sisters friends over many who choose not to put their trust and affection for as given by the girls. On campus they impose a distance in a relationship with me that in fact it actually has the same religion with them it's just that I have not covered. Muslim image as an exclusive group in my head has been destroyed in seconds with the presence of the head-scarf girls.

Now I thank God already wearing the hijab, was married and was blessed with two sweet Jundi. Avocation in the affairs of my job as a housewife leaves almost no spare time for me. More than that, sometimes resulting in a process of selecting friends who continue to hang out there without me realizing it.

If the other mothers in my neighborhood often gathered in front of his house so the fence could be said I rarely go together with them. If there is a meeting between the mothers in my neighborhood, whether it's gathering rt, waging a monthly, monthly meetings between citizens, or even formal occasions such as salvation or festivity, we can be sure I was only present at the official ceremony took place only. After the official ceremony is finished, when a plate glass began to be collected in the middle of the mat, I chose to resign immediately rather than participate clustered together with other mothers who create new conversations and events outside of the core events.

Hmm, I'm still trying to get along, smiling and joking or discussing with my friends mothers of other households in the context of an event that I follow are still ongoing. After that, the show was over, I would prefer to resign more reason to avoid kemudharatan.

It's not a secret anymore what is being done by the mothers of the household if they got together and began to mingle with each other outside a coordinated event. They will talk about things that are not helpful and this is what I avoid. Involved in friendships as it takes me like a fruit simalakama. Eaten in the sense that we involve ourselves, we will be affected by their atmosphere because inevitably we will issue a voice and are involved in their conversations that we will regret it later myself. The second option is to not eat it, that we remain silent so listeners and that means we let the contents of their conversation will be entered into our ears without a fight, settles in our hearts and will unconsciously generate a discussion with myself that gave birth to a more su'udzon and discomfort.

There is a justification that I hold in my decision to do what I think is good for me, that is preventing a major kemudharatan more than spread the benefits. Hmm, really justify this? WallahuÂ'alam.

Now, in choosing a friend in the bustle of everyday interactions that both events are also very touching and gave me a very deep impression. It happened tucked into the daily routine events and in the time unexpected. Ie shubuh time.

There is a special joy that I feel towards shubuh time. Namely the opportunity to walk to enjoy the peaceful atmosphere before shubuh alone with my husband. Our goal Mosque is located quite far away from home and lay in the interval of time that the way to the mosque is usually filled with light conversation apart from feeling upset, sick and tired of going to routine work and activities.

There is only jest or vent, accompanied by counsel interrupted mild joke. Usually, after performing prayers in congregation at mosques shubuh we immediately went to the house because of the daily routine tasks have been waiting for. That's why time went to the mosque to be more special (to be more special because sometimes my health which is often disrupted due to fatigue and laziness will be the daily task of making this sweet event becomes increasingly difficult to do).

That day, as usual I immediately folded prayer gear and started getting ready to go home when there was someone who greeted me. An elderly woman who seemed to smile and give greetings. I returned his greeting with a smile.

"How are you boy? Why did not seem so long ago? "he stirred, I approached the old lady and sitting in front of her as she greeted him politely.

"Sick bu. I've been sick for several days so I can not go anywhere, including to the mosque. But thank God now healthy again. Own mother how's it going? "

"Alhamdulillah healthy kid." My mother was still staring at me with a gentle smile once. Suddenly he grabbed my wrists and held it very tightly.

"My mother longed to see coming .. nearly half months is not seen you here present. "I just smiled to myself could not help but wonder. Half months, meaning that the mother was counted. This means again, this mother of pilgrims stay on in the mosque when shubuh this time ... well ... how could I not know this mother's presence every time I pray here. Hmm, maybe because I'm always hurrying to get home because the thought of housework was already lining up to do. Oh, how I care not in my neighborhood over the years. Capital sentence was beginning to feel like satire to me.

"My mother always prayed for my son ... you sound really, mothers because God loves you and always look forward to seeing you here in this mosque, though his own mother was not sure because my mother was very old and increasingly fragile."

Subhanallah ....
This time I really feel touched. During this time I never noticed what was happening to the environment around me. I've been busy with keseharianku own affairs, I am busy with myself while the old lady in front of me, which may be her life more difficult, more complex problems, more complicated things about everyday, still have the ability to observe their environment.

Hmm .. you know. The second memorable event on top of that is actually a very sweet advice from God for me. Subhanallah. Sometimes, the advice was not always just be a stretch tausiyah length about hadith and verses.

An advice can also be a deed. Just as the act of veiled girls in the city on buses. By showing kindness and decency and keikhlasannya (until now I never once saw him again, may God merahmatiNya always, amen), I'm so excited for beauty and sweetness ukhuwah in Islam Muslim character real. More than that, there was a spirit to truly realize the identity as "Muslim kaffah", like the advice given in the book that he gave freely to me.

So also with the old lady in the mosque's (hik.. Wisdom .. I never met him again, and I got this second not know her name, where he lives and any information about him. Hopefully, he remained in the shelter of Allah SWT) . With the tenderness of a mother is wise, he reminded me that I missed the "mosque" is always how busy my activities ... mother also reminded me that my neighborhood during this assessment will actually not always true. Is not in the middle of green grass in the middle padangpun always tucked into a beautiful colored flowers scented flowers despite the presence of tiny barely visible?

Their presence alone is in the midst of thirst Conditioning long and tedious journey because of the monotony of alienation.
Their presence is a morale booster when ghirah began sagging because of the daily routine that began tense nerves. Hmm .. wallahuÂ'alam.

I remembered a hadith which says that:
"Not a perfect one's faith among you, that he loves his brother as he loves himself." (From the book of Saheeh Muslim, narrated by Anas bin Malik).

So great was the sense of brotherhood that is contained in the hadith is that no sorting inside groups based on a variety of ethnicities, races, classes, nationalities and skin color. Everything is family. "Truly the believers are brothers." (Al Hujurat: 10).

Love here is the desire of all the good that he has to take also felt by his brother.

"By the One who was my soul is in his hands, not perfect one's faith that he loves his brother as he loves his own goodness." (From the history Nisaa'i).

Goodness here is good "according to the Shari'a" as the science that is useful, which pious deeds, and the result is positive. There is no room here for the subjective assessment of what we often apply when we choose our friends without realizing it. Just like fine advice given by the girl in the city bus to me. While my friends rejected my presence Sisters who are "different" by those who covered the width, then the girl with full sincerity ukhuwah taught me the meaning of true and unknowingly gave me the spirit to "recognize Islam (the religion of peace) or more away." Subhanallah.

Hopefully we can all learn to can also become role models like these two characters "real" that I met in my life. It was Almighty Allah who gave me a very valuable lesson.

"O Allah, You are my Lord, there is no God but Thee.
You who created me and I was your servant.
I am bound in agreement with You sekemampuanku.
MU-I seek refuge from all the evil I have done.
I acknowledge the favors-MU to me and I confess my sins, so forgive me, for nobody can forgive sins except You "(Narrated by Bukhari)

Ade Anita

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Prevent Anxiety, Keep the Spirit

Umm Limeh lately feel sluggish, less passionate in doing his job, luckily Limeh Umm could still not keep his emotions in a bad mood. If it was so weak, Ummi Limeh usually sit relaxed on her front porch while enjoying a mini flower garden in her yard.

'Goodness' Allah! "Called Ummi while massaging his chest. Aja bright surprise, Mrs. Esti nyodorin suddenly red folder. Bu RT's usual luggage folder, if not donated hygiene folder, well PKK donors folder. Hehehe ... same-same folder dues, just a different color aja.

"Ihh .. Bu RT makes surprise aja. Mending bikinin keq cake, "said Umm Limeh, although still deg degan in shock, still can becanda aja. Bu RT me-too surprised, just come diomelin.

"Oh iyah, it's not a nagging lo Mrs. RT," said Umm Limeh mind seemed to know the contents of Mrs. RT. Bu RT added surprise, koq know him know if he again Limeh Umm think that rich.

"That was an expression of shock due to Mrs. RT. What's going well, unusually-tumbenan come over here, using nenteng-nenteng map everything. "

"Ordinary ... if already carrying around a folder, especially if not donated," said Mrs. RT, know aja conscience of its citizens. Hehehe ....

"La, Ummi Limeh own hour-koq daydreaming at this hour, what is it anyway?"

"Do not know nih Bu RT, working so lemes, Kaga semangatnye ade. Kenape ye? "

"No tauuu ..." replied Mrs. RT spontaneous.

"Er, I mean, that's to play a Limeh Umm, well I do not know what the cause, maybe Umm Limeh tired, rest."

"Yeah times well. Kecapean times. "

"If work was relaxed aja, protect the health and appearance with enough rest at home, let tetep fresh."

Umm Limeh so thought, what a burden during this work well? Ah do not feel, he thought. Rest? Mmmm ... already enough koq. Well then what causes it?

"First ya, clean work place of the things that bother unless something must be done," explained Mrs RT to apply the knowledge gained. Umm Limeh serious listening.

"Do work in accordance with its interests. So the precedence is more important first, then new lightweight deh-light. Umm Limeh again if there is problem, promptly complete or hasten a decision. "

"Keep ... keep Mrs. RT ..." said Umm Limeh enthusiastic.

"Well ... preserve the spirit of doing the job."

"Continue .... continued .... "

"Continue ... aye mo go home first. Thanks infaqnya. Assalamu'alaikum! "Cried Mrs. RT goodbye. Umm Limeh resigned, but again the spirit of his spirit to listen to advice Bu-RT, er ... abandoned. Well, maybe Mrs. RT still be used to collecting contributions around the village, Umm think Limeh. Wah ... dah recover my energy Subhanalloh nih. Working again ... ahhh. (Ziah, Samarinda 300 503)

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A Short Story KH Mustofa Bisri: Mbok Yem

Praise wukuf at Arafat before I could find my mother and sister at their lodgings in Mecca. They lived in a cramped room with four pairs of husband and wife. Each plot occupied semuat two people who were given only baggage bulkhead. In the middle there is little empty space filled with a variety of food and eating utensils. Mom introduced me to the friends group.

"This is my son who studied in Egypt," he said proudly. "It's been four years did not come home."

I sheepishly shook their hands one by one. Among them were two lovebirds are very old. Older than the mother. The men and called Mbah Joyo older. A few years older than Mbok Yem, his wife. In contrast to the rather quiet Mbah Joyo, Mbok Yem friendly and talkative man, approached the nosy.

Which was then attracting attention, at once made me a bit of amusement, is the intimacy that the two lovebirds. They Like newlyweds alone. Like ignoring the smiles and glances-glances seduce his friends who watched them, Mbok Yem clung Mbah Joyo pampered on our shoulders.

"Sir, we're lucky, yes," he said as he stroked her hair is white as cotton. "Child Mus was studying religion in Egypt, he could be muthawwif manasik us and guide us." Then directed to me, "Not so, dear Mus?"

I just nodded, smiling.

"If necessary Mus boy would not mind to take us everywhere," he said again. "Later Mbok Yem bikinkan Mbah Joyo's favorite sour vegetables. Mbok Yem most experts make sour vegetables. Ask Mbah Joyo, the tongue until njoget if Mbok Yem sour vegetables cook."

"But he's also just now to Mecca," said my mother. "So here experience no more from us-we are."

"Yes, but it's certainly clever lad Mus Arabic; so will not get lost and can help us when shopping. We no longer need to offer nawar use sign language, rich and dumb."

The people on laughing.

"But, boy it's Mus do not live here with us," said one of the pilgrims, handing her a glass of tea. "Thanks!" I welcome the thrust of hot tea.

"Yes, dear Mus, where he lives?" asked another.

"I stayed with friends of another student," I said, "but not far from here somewhere. I could be here often."

"Well, sir, then we could walk anywhere without worry," said Mbok Yem again while massaging the arm Mbah Joyo. "We've got guards who are young and can speak Arabic."

"You are how," Mbah Joyo, who had been silent and smiling suddenly spoke up. "Child Mus to here it's not for you alone. But especially for his mother and sister who have not seen. They definitely want berkangen-kangenan."

"Yes, I know," replied her husband mleroki Mbok Yem said. "I also do not intend to control his own son Mus. I mean we can nginthil, come together when their mother and mbak to the mosque or wherever else."

"No way!"

"There, there," said my mother interrupted. "It's half past eleven. Let's get ready to the mosque!"

***

Alhamdulillah, since at Arafat can join my mother's entourage. Wukuf eve, we had gone to the wilderness area that became a sea of the tent. Some people looked tired. Precisely Mbok Yem and Mbah Joyo - the oldest member of the troupe - do not show the slightest signs of fatigue. Even the two lovebirds radiant spirit is evident as rejuvenate their age. When the morning I take them out of the tent to see Arafat atmosphere that is so wonderful. Although the sun is not so disturbing with the heat shock, he has provided a bright light on the white carpet of Arafat. As far as the eye could see, the white-white-and-white tent and white ihram cloth dominates the landscape. Here and there bercuatan state flags or simply mark a particular group of pilgrims. From a distance, appear as "hill people" to the top of a monument which is also white. "Is that Jabal Rahmah?"

"Yes, that's the Jabal Rahmah."

"Is it true that Father Adam's first rendezvous with Mother Eve after they fell from heaven?"

"And Allaah knows best yes, but there are many who believe."

"Are we going there?"

"Ah, no. After all that much. It looks just close. Wukuf important at Arafat, beristighfar and pray. Here I think we can be more solemn."

When he returned to the camp, apparently friends of passengers are still bringing their impression of seeing a panorama that they had never seen it.

"Why so many people were from everywhere huh?" V "Yes, there are very black, very white, brown, in fact there are as rosy tomatoes."

"That 's all a lot of people kok-white all white clothes, my God!"

All the talk was directing his gaze at me as if I said they are waiting. Or is this just a feeling. But I speak also. "My teacher said, this is a mini picture of the field later that when we Makhsyar, when everyone was woken up from the grave. There is no rich no poor, no great man there's no little man; no nobility there was no common man, all the same. Everything herded in an open field like this at Arafat. The difference is, here there are tents and other shade-shade, where it later, do not. Each person will be held accountable for his deeds during life on earth. "

I stopped, because I heard the sobs that there are more and more hardened. It turns out crying on the lap of Mbok Yem Mbah Joyo is also seen his eyes filled with tears. The whole tent fell silent. Up came an officer kloter ordered all getting ready for the event with prayer - Dhuhr and Asar - and continue the ritual wukuf with dhikr and prayer.

I noticed, since the completion ceremony of prayer and praying together, until finally each dhikr and praying individually, Mbok Yem and Mbah Joyo kept crying and repeating only Astaghfirullah, Astaghfirullah ... Beg pardon of God. There was this old two lovebirds other dhikr or prayer.

***

Night when the flood flows of vehicles and people flowed from Arafat to Muzdalifah and Mina, on our own bus, just sounded talbiyah and interpretation. Except for a pair of mouth that was still beristighfar. Mouth Mbok Yem and Mbah Joyo.

Toward dawn we got Muzdalifah area. From a distance, twinkling lights adorn a panorama looking increasingly Masy'aril Haram. Our bus stopped and the group tumbled out in the dark, looking for pebbles to throw Jamrah. Mother I'm still on the bus, my brother and I are down. The others turned down everything. Some of them have already prepared with a small flashlight and a cloth bag where pebbles. Here and there also appear several vehicles were parked, waiting for their passengers to find gravel.

"Stay close!" chairman of the group's voice warned. People will not listen. Not because of anything. They are not already sympathetic to the officers they think are only good at talking only. Ngurus never pilgrims. Meet passengers are only interesting if you want this and that charges are not clearly intended.

But when it was quite old and there are still many around, me and some people who've been finished for gravel, had helped the chairman of the group shouting and clapping hands, warning them to immediately increase the vehicle. Moreover, the bus driver - the Egyptians - have continued to grumble-grumble while up and down the bus, can not wait. Moreover, other vehicles which had already pull together its passengers toward Mina.

They eventually took the bus back as well, although there were among those who grumbled, "The driver didengerin kok. This is my worship. Here the rules we're staying. Why the rush?"

"Never mind, maybe the driver to consider dense traffic, fear too late to Mina," I tried to soothe the grouch. "Besides, we're here 12 hours had passed. So it's starting to stay."

Suddenly, when the new party chairman and calculate the congregational roll, sounding Mbok Yem cried hysterically, "Mbah Joyo! Mana Mbah Joyoku?!" Instantly everything was new to realize that Mbah Joyo has not returned. Mbok Yem jumped off the bus, still crying and screaming, calling her husband. Almost the whole bus come down. Mom and my sister followed me to pursue Mbok Yem, trying to calm him.

"Calm down, sister Yem," my mother pleaded, hugging the old woman. "Mbah Joyo not going anywhere. We'll find him."

"Yes, sister," my sister persuaded follow-up. "Even if Mbah Joyo stray, there's a special officer who specializes find people astray. Believe."

"Yes, sister, if that was really lost, I will be contacting the police or other officers," I replied. "Mbah Joyo'll be back with us again."

I myself and probably my mother and sister not so sure what we were saying. But thank God, though still sobbing and talking to himself, Mbok Yem can be a little quiet. "Mbah Joyo was my savior!" he hissed again and again.

Head of delegation and several men, including the driver, who tried to find up outside the area where they'd look for gravel, has returned no results. There is a suspect Mbah Joyo may stray up another vehicle parked nearby. We conferred and agreed to continue the journey while searching. All re-take the bus. Mbok Yem who guided my mother and sister, still intermittently turned to the dark wilderness Muzdalifah. Mengawani mother sat and still continues to embrace his old friend was now silent.

***

Dawn, we're new to Mina. Everything looked tired, even more Mbok Yem. Fortunately, not much searching, we have reached our tent maktab. And, after entering the tent, not a game surprised us. We saw Mbah Joyo was sitting cross-legged eating grapes from a large dish full of various fruits. (In addition to wine, there are apples, oranges, bananas, pears, etc.).

Mbok Yem screamed, "Mbah Joyo!" and rushed and hugged and kissed her husband, weeping happily. Mbah Joyo himself only smiled sheepishly. For a moment the others were still stunned amazement. Only then slid almost in unison, "Alhamdulillaaaah!"

Everything is then surrounded Mbah Joyo which still continues to be hugged, caressed, and kissed Mbok Yem. Overall pleased.

"Gotta go, Mbok Yem, 'said the head of the pack," later followed by miss-kangenannya. Let Mbah Joyo told me first. " Then to Mbah Joyo, "Mbah Joyo, Sampeyan anywhere last night?"

"Yeah, Grandma," interrupted the other, "Sampeyan the wrong bus huh?!"

"How did you know-know Mbah Joyo've got here is how the story?" asked another.

"Mbah Joyo already throwing jumrah 'Aqabah?"

Mbah Joyo nodded, smiling. "You see I was wearing pajamas!" Then talked like he was telling a tale.

"I do not get lost and no one to take the bus. I met a young, dashing and handsome and taken up a very good vehicle. I said that I was with the entourage of friends and my wife. He said he already knew and convinced me that I'll see you later also in Mina. father is old, he said, will be tired if you ride the bus. Finally I went to. Until I was brought here Mina, told to rest a little. God knows how long I was asleep. Next thing I knew I was awakened before dawn and asked to throw jumrah 'Aqabah. After that I delivered here again. As he left the fruits of this, he excused himself and said a moment later you will come. And he was right. "

"He was one, Mbah? People Where?"

"Oh yes. I forgot to ask. Because once met him was immediately familiar. So I then hesitate and finally, until he left, I forgot to ask the name and origin."

"Miraculous!"

***

When he finished throwing jumrah 'Aqabah, pilgrims have apparently had enough. They lay along unwind. And soon came the sound of snoring and there. Mbok Yem I saw myself looking fresh and cheerful. He even told her mom foot massage. "While Mbah Joyo sleep," he said. While I and my sister was listening while sleeping. But the story touched Mbok Yem, do not feel we were both finally collapsed as well.

Apparently Mbok Yem sure what happened Mbah Joyo was a gift of God nothing to do with his deeds. He tells why she got hysterical when Mbah Joyo lost in Muzdalifah. Mbok Yem prostitutes apparently once was - now "refined" the term became commercial sex workers - and Mbah Joyo is "subscribed" it made him realize that with patience, mengentasnya of sordid life, and marry her. Then Mbok Yem and Mbah Joyo launch an entirely new life. In addition to assisting Mbah Joyo farming, selling pecel Mbok Yem, then increased by opening a small food stall. And some of the results of their work, they save little by little. Even those willing to live tirakat, in order to achieve their ambitions: the pilgrimage. They have a belief that their sins can only really be forgiven, if beristighfar in the holy land, in the Grand Mosque, at Arafat, in Muzdalifah, and at Mina. As scholars in the village pack, pilgrim who Mabrur no reward except paradise. Apparently only when that old, they save enough money to pay for the pilgrimage.

"Alhamdulillah, Mbah Joyo not really missing," said Mbok Yem end the story. "So we're both still a chance to refine our pilgrimage. May Allah make it easier. Once finished, we are sincere, if the Exalted to call us anytime. Thanksgiving here in this holy land."

Mbok Yem wiped tears, happy tears, and then gently laid his body on the side of my mother.

***

Apex, 1423/2002

Note: Source: Daily "JAVA POS" April 27, 2003 (quoted from the website: www.wanita-muslimah.com. Cited by Ade Anita)

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Eliminate Tear on Cheek, Eliminate Lara at Heart

Anxiety, grief and tears are part of a sketch of life in the world. Which empties into tears from the heart and soul berselaputkan anxiety sometimes heartbreaking, to create unrest and doubt.

Grief because of the longing that is so utterly in the stifling cause chest pain. Fragile souls too revolves around the nature and contents, to ask, where is the soul mate is. Then, the liver creates anxiety pieces, like a child who disappeared from her mother in a crowd.

The desire to meet the soul mate, is not that a disposition? All were present previously unnoticed, to have unwittingly become an inseparable part of life. A-Fitr is also that every woman wants to be a good wife and mother than to live in solitude. With the touch of love and caresses, will form a pious souls and sholehah.

Duhai ...
How noble a woman's position, especially when he was a faithful woman who can build and maintain the beauty of the light of Islam to suit every corner of the household.

Allaah has created a woman even with all its privileges, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding until keta'atan and fulfill the rights of her husband like the arena of jihad FII sabilillah. Therefore, sure that no scratches inner seeing another woman under the marriage age? Have we witnessed the pain of women who berazam maintain self-respect until he found a liver lover? Can we describe the feelings that groan at the sight of another woman gave birth to happiness? Or, do not we see the sad look of her eyes flashed when he saw aqiqah our children?

Tired ...
It would be a tired body and soul. Own paddling a small river craft with a sense of emptiness, without knowing a soul mate is there waiting.

Duhai ukhti sholehah ...
In Islam, human life not only for this world alone, because there hereafter. Indeed, every human being has been created in pairs, but not only limited to this world alone. Someone who has not found his soul mate, God willing, there will be reunited in the hereafter, for he is faithful and devoted and patient on his examination has established himself as a single in the mortal world. Maybe the prince did not wait to met and have been waiting on the edge of paradise, golden buggy to take you to the palace.

Restlessness and anxiety not to change the view to the owners of Love. Even if think that's always haunted, mind you own lara, duhai ukhti. Taqarrub is to Allaah. Restore all affairs to Him, not only was the Most Merciful and Giving. Endeavor, and a string of prayer Munajat inexhaustible pour out to the owner's heart. Do not compare yourself with other women, because Allaah would give the best for each of His servants, though he did not realize it.

Bother yourself be sad and cry at the end of the evening because it never thought anyone would after soul mate. Weep with tears in his application to every dark night prostration and silence. Make life is always full of good wishes to the owner of the Soul. Prepared for a round of time, until each motion step, and intakes of breath is worth of worship to Allaah. Tausyiah was always careful with the Divine tarbiyah to myself this is not lonely in the solitude.

Would not if have the time comes, will not run anywhere mate. Because since the soul has been fused with the body, your soul mate who had also written him.

Be patient ukhti sholehah ...
Is not the morning sun will always adorned with golden rays of luxury. The night was beautiful with soft rays of the moon stars fence. Nodes chirping birds were always cheerful joking night in the dark. Smile, smile like the morning dew stunning grain is always faithful to greet.

Eliminate any tears on her cheeks and remove lara in the liver. Accept all as part of this journey. With a big heart and soul, you will discover what the secret behind the catwalk of life that has endured. Until, one day you will no longer feel the ripples of anxiety and unrest as their own.

Hopefully. Bi Wallahua'lam shawab.

* LOVE embraced in the cradle PENA *
Allaah wa al-Hubb Lillah,
Authors: Abu Aufa

Note: This paper is the result of editing of the writings of Abu Aufa ever need You're entitled Lara's Own.
Abu Aufa: (Writers Diary book Life 2, has been published by PT Syaamil Cipta Media, Bandung, 2004)

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Do Until False Choosing Life Couple

Indecision is the feeling that often arise in the hearts of single people when to decide to whom she will marry. This feeling appears reasonable, because the decision to marry is a big decision that will affect the way a person's life, therefore they will be careful in determining the candidate companion of his life.

Such hesitancy is also felt Annisa, 24-year-old woman who happened flawless. As a Muslim he had felt uncomfortable with the men who tried to approach him. For him there is only one solution, get married. But he was so confused which one to men he received pinangannya. Annisa In the eyes of every man who tried to approach has drawbacks. Annisa now be wondering just exactly what the hell are the terms he must be set for future prospective mate?.

There was no ivory that is not cracked, so that to reveal the true proverb says no one is perfect. Every person must have a deficiency, but there are really basic personality qualities we need and we have a potential partner in order to build a happy home mahligai. Personal qualities include:

Quality diversity
Religion is a belief that affects the heart, mind and feelings of someone's behavior so that people who have the understanding and experience of religion that both will be greatly assisted in solving various problems. This condition will eventually affect the happiness and the permanence of a marriage.

Own Commitment To Develop Yourself
Every people has its own advantages and disadvantages respective msing. However, each person also has the opportunity to flourish. It is important for us to have a commitment to personal development, that is how one understands the existing deficiencies, learning from mistakes and willing to listen to the advice of others. All of this comes down to how he developed and developing themselves personally in order to become a better and wiser.

Emotional openness
This means that a person who has feelings, knowing what was felt, would share my feelings with her partner and know how to express feelings. Emotional openness to capital is important in building relationships with our partners, while capital good communication is essential in building a harmonious household.

Have Integrity
Everyone longed for a potential partner who has integrity. We want people who, honestly, both against themselves and against others, in this case especially with partners, we also want our potential partner is the person who did not play in making decisions that affect their future. That is the meaning of integrity.

Maturity and Responsibility

Having kematangaan means he can take care of herself, knows where the good / bad for him. While responsible means he understands the steps he took along with the risks that may be encountered.

Have Self-Esteem
Remember that a person can love he should love himself. Therefore, behold how he loved himself. If he had not loved her, how could she loves her partner?

Positive Attitude To Life
Those who have a positive attitude to life will try to change all obstacles into opportunities, and generally believe that everything will be good.

That all the qualities of an ideal that has to be our partners and prospective oeleh ourselves when we're getting married. But the situation faced by Annisa or similar situations, often makes us unable to think clearly. Because it is the things that we must be aware in order not to misunderstand me in choosing a spouse. Things like this may help us:

1. Do not be so quickly decided to marry her she

Provide adequate time to obtain sufficient information about your potential mate is. There are some things we need to know from our lives that the prospective partner:

a. Background of Life.
- Nasab / background includes descendants of the family relations of origin, whether derived from intact families, harmonic, or a broken home. Including forms of relationships with siblings

- Religion, norms or values of socio-economic status, ethnicity, cultural traditions and family of origin.

- Is there a hereditary disease associated with genetic factors.

b. Issues relating to the quality of self-
- Quality Dien
- Akhlaq
- The type of personality (closed / open, quiet, cheerful, emotional, impatient)
- Education, intellectual capacity, professional.
- Background of the organization, social activities.
- The ability of problem solving
- Trust yourself.

2. Do not get married at the age of the immature personally
Ready to marry means that everything is ready to face the problem requires maturity of thinking and behaving. Maturity can not be measured with a more mature age than those who were older.

Maturity also affects our choices in our potential partner. Those who are less mature tend to just amazed at the things that are only superficial.

3. Do not choose a partner just to please others
You're the lucky ones or who are suffering with your wedding. If any factor among others in bringing you to the him confirm that you alone who decides that he's best for you (of course beristiqarah first).

4. Do not marry the expectations unrealistic
Usually the initial intention of getting married affect what issues will dominate during the marriage. Satisfaction in marital life and to reject the measuring is in that hope. If not met will cause disappointment.

5. Do not marry someone that has a personality problem
Beware of people who have a personality that is hard to revamped, it needs understanding and gracefully incredible to deal with people like this. Basically every person has a problem behavior, but that should be considered is how the concentration, intensity and frequency is someone who fall into the category of personality problems is if you have problematic behaviors that dominate daily life and affect adaptations with others. Usually people like this often make others or himself feel disturbed and uncomfortable with his behavior.

Inna Mutmainnah, S. Psi.
Source: Magazine Safina No. 2/Th.1

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Blessed Necklace

Jabir ibn Abdullah Al-Ansari said: "Messenger of Allah 'Asr prayers with us. When finished, he sat on the direction of Qibla, and the people around him. Suddenly, an old man came from Arabs who migrated kalngan. He wore a tattered cloth, and can barely hold themselves because of old age and weak. Then the Prophet approached him and asked how. The old man said,

"O Prophet of God, I'm hungry, give me a meal. I do not get dressed, give me clothes. I am poor, help me. "

Then the Prophet said to him, "I do not have anything for you. But those who show kindness to people who do the same. Because of that, go to where people who love and dirintai Allah and His Messenger, and the prioritization of God against himself. Go to the place of Fatimah. "(House of Fatimah Messenger border with private home, where he lived alone and separated from his wives). Then he said, "O Bilal, get up and take him to the house of Fatima."

Go man with Bilal. When he reached the front door of Fatimah, he was greeted with a loud voice, "Assalamu'alaykum, O inhabitants of House Prophethood (An-nubuwwah Ahlu Temple)."

"Alaikas-greetings. Greetings to you? "Asked Fatima.

Questioned replied, "I am an old Arab. I have to face your father, the leader who gave the good news, because of a difficulty. O daughter of Muhammad, I do not have clothes and in a state of hunger. So please help me, may God love you. "

At that time, Fatimah and Ali, the Prophet also know the condition of both of them. Then Fatimah took tanned sheepskin has been used as bedding by Hasan and Husayn, and he said to the man,

"Take this, O man who knocks. May Allah give you a better than this. "

The man said again: "O daughter of Muhammad, I complained to you that I was hungry, but you gave me a sheepskin. I can not do anything with it. With what I feel less hungry? "

When he heard what he said was, Fatimah took the necklace on her neck which was awarded Fatimah bint Hamzah bin Abdul Muttalib. He decided from his neck and gave it to him, saying,

"This Ambilllah and sell. Hopefully God will give you a better compensation thereof. "The Arabs had picked it up and go to the mosque of the Prophet. At that time, the Prophet was sitting with his companions. The man said, "O Messenger of Allah, Fatimah gave me this necklace and said, 'Sell this necklace, I hope God will help you."

The Prophet wept. Belaiu said, "How God will not help you? You have been given by Muhammad's daughter Fatimah, daughter of the leader of mankind. "Ammar ibn Yasir arose and said," O Messenger of Allah, if you allow me to buy this necklace? "

"Buy, O 'Ammar," replied the Prophet.

"How much is this necklace, O Arabs," said Ammar told the old man.

"For the bread and meat filling, burdah (cloth) Yemen will I use to cover auratku and to prayer, and the dinar currency that will take me home to my family." Answered the man. Previously, Ammar has sold all part of Khaibar, the Prophet granted to him and no longer rest. He also said to him,

"To you 20 pence and 200 dirhams, Yemen and untaku fabric that can menyampaikanmu to where your family, plus bread and meat that mengenyangkanmu."

"How pemurahnya you, O men." Ammar Go with that person, to carry out the transaction was agreed upon. Then he returned to the place of the Prophet.

"Would you have been fed and have clothes," asked the Prophet to him

"Yes, even I have become rich." He said.

Prophet said, "Give a reply to Fatimah for what she had done."

The man prayed, "O Allah, Thou art our God is not looking for anymore than you. Rizki thou give it to us in every place. O Allah, grant Fatimah something that was never seen by the eyes and never be heard by the ears. "

Mengaminkan Prophet prayed. He then went to his companions and said,

"Allah has given it to Fatima in the world. I was her father, and no one else in the whole of nature like me. Ali's husband, had there been no Ali, there is no equivalent to him forever. God also gave Hasan and Husayn. Nothing at all like them both natural. They are the leaders of the prophet's grandson and leader of the young inhabitants of Paradise. "

Ammar then scent the necklace he'd bought with oil and wrapped in a cloth musical Yemen. He has a slave named Sahm, that he bought the shares (parts) which he acquired in Khaibar. Ammar gave the necklace to him and say,

"Take this necklace and give to the Messenger of Allah, and you became hers." Slave took the necklace. He took him to the Prophet and tell him what was said Ammar.

Then the Prophet said to him, "Go to where Fatimah then give the necklace to him, and you became hers." Slaves came to Fatima with a necklace and told him what was said by the Prophet. Fatima took the necklace and memerdekana the slave. Former slave and then laughed.

"What makes you laugh, my son?" Asked Fatima.

He replied: "What makes me laugh is how great a blessing this necklace. He satiate the hungry, dress the people who are not dressed, enriching the poor, freeing slaves and later returned to their owners. "

Thus the story of Fatima necklace.
Hopefully bring some wisdom for us all

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Flowers bolls World: Episode Sunflowers

Because I love to write to you, maybe also for myself. As a reminder or a thoughtful friend.

Today I saw my neighbor's sunflowers are at home. School children took time to touch it, my sister even asked for seeds to be planted in the garden behind our house.

And me? I enjoyed it from inside my house. My brother shouted admiringly, "look! He always followed the direction of the sun! "Yes! Of course, I thought. His name also sunflowers. But it may also partly named so because the color is bright yellow, rounded to resemble celestial bodies, the planet's central highway: THE SUN

Flowers became my inspiration, write it down for you. Flowers matahri always follow the direction of the sun. He was so sincere and exposes her face turning to the UE.

As the sun began to sink, dusk came and the sun ducked interest, as he said; "where matahariku? I lost direction. " My sister, my beloved Muslim, did you ever feel the twilight atmosphere? As the sun began to sink and the sky red?

If I do, sometimes dikala dusk came, there was a sadness that had suddenly ambushed, there was an air sadness, fear (especially if I'm still on the road, waiting for the bus, or walking when maghrib, had not yet reached home there was an uncomfortable feeling). Ah, maybe that's why we are taught by the Prophet to pray and a lot of dhikr in the afternoon.

Back on sunflower. Perhaps he also felt the way I feel at sunset, huh? Sister, do not you know and feel that the sunflower was like a human? Man was created to follow what he believed. We should make the Quran as the sun, where they raised guidance, guidelines, and the radiant love of God. How God lowering the Koran like the sun shine upon the earth. Being a human guide in life.

We should follow the Qur'an wherever it takes us, obey what God show. Saying 'no' to what Allah, the Prophet, the Koran tuntunkan and make a guide for our conscience. Saying 'yes' and without Malau, hesitation or bid-nawar Koran commands. Ah ... ... ... ... my sister, when did we make the Koran the only sun in our life?

If not so, When we no longer make the Qur'an as the sun, deny it, distancing ourselves from him, turning our faces from him, to deny the promptings of conscience to follow him ... ... So we like the sunflower which lost its sun (hence, what he can be named ' sunflower 'again? While he no longer follow the sun, or lose its sun).

My sister, we're the sunflowers that are outstanding and prostrate ourselves under the Koran, which makes us light, life, becoming a guide so that we remain the best creatures and deserve the best title race.

My sister, I want us mengihiasi world, and when we become the people who follow the Koran, surely we will become people who are amazing! Without the need to admire yourself. We will be glorious without mendapik themselves as being noble. Like humans who admire sunflower, a flower from the garden of the earth.

Al-adawiyah Robiah
MHS FH Univ Eleven March (UNS), FLP Executives Solo
r_aladawiyah@yahoo.com

kafemuslimah.com

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Flowers bolls World: Episode Roses

My sister, although I do not really like the flower. But I like to observe and make meaning-the meaning of it. Because, do not we dituntunkan to bertafakkur against God's creation?

Dialog One Way
I've told you about sunflowers some time ago (if you have time to read my writing before). Description of someone devout, someone who cling to what is considered right, what is the principle. (At least according pemaknaanku)

My sister, surely you know the roses. Interest is often a symbol of love, romance, flowers in the colors clear, if he is red, then he turns blood red, black! If he was white, he was a firm white, sacred. Rare rose pink, although there may be.

Aromatic roses, petals so disordered, many, and thoroughly protect the stamens. Roses are also not easily abort flower crowns, I prove it, how a rose still crowned and valvate although maybe if he picked with the stems and he was placed without water, he might have withered, but the crown did not fall!

Flower petals were still longer protected, no less firm. Not only that! You know, my sister? Roses so difficult to reach! Yes! We must be careful because the stalks which pluck a small but sturdy although it spiked.

That's it. Every time I watched part of the roses. Every part of the interest was so steady and unwavering, in addition to its beautiful and fragrant smell. Roses so fascinating.

Roses so mysterious, elegant. The splendid shapes and smells, all make people want to enjoy it, picks it, own it. But, it was not easy to get it. To pick them we must be careful that the bones do not hurt. We can not arbitrarily casually memtiknya, if we do not want to 'attack' by the thorns. Stalks are also not easily broken. If you've ever experienced, we must use tools (scissors, knives) to cut it. Right?

Hmmmmmm ... ... .... That's it. Roses. You know, my sister, that there are women like roses. But, probably not much. And a Muslim is like a rose? Well of course even less.

I'm not talking about physical beauty, even if it is inside a person, we can not deny that for a compliment.

Or Muslim women who like roses, so pleasing to the eye. Her beauty radiates from a deep ketguhan. If she is indeed blessed with physical beauty by God, he will be more beautiful. Kalupun physically he was not classified as 'very pretty' but she radiates beauty another. Beauty that led to a very high degree. Elegant.

Women are like roses have a firmness of principle, she understands every detail of her is so precious, for that he guard it, protect it carefully. See how many 'weapons' that held the rose to protect the pistils and stamens. That is, women especially Muslim women, dituntunkan to always protect themselves, because every part of body, soul and minds have the potential beauty.

Women or women of character roses are also very strong stance. He's not easy to shed his self-esteem for things that do not conform with the road perinsipnya. See, what a crown of roses is not easy to abort even though she wilted flowers. Seteguh women roses will not shed his honor. He will guard even though he had to fight for it. The situation does not make him a crybaby.

One more thing, my sister. Roses are not easily picked. The women are strong and affirming, intelligent and enlightening, and either fix will emit a lot of energy. Everyone knows that he has banayak charm. But it does not make him cocky charm. Even so, the women are characterized by a rose always exudes friendliness, kindness. But to get it? Whoa! It's not hard to get, but he has izzah (dignity, honor, sense of PD, not for himself but proud of 'proud' because he holds fast to Islam and all the rules).

The enchantment of roses makes people dare not playing. Enchantment of the characters 'roses' will select the lucky ones who got in a good way, not pilfer much less pick them by force! Because if it was done, the rose will hurt pemetiknya hands are rough and not civilized, right?

So, anyone who wanted to pick the roses Muslim, he must be a man who has the determination and fighting spirit! He should ask a Muslim roses from the owner. Who owns it? The lover of the rose and the rose garden owners who since childhood care and keep the roses that grew into a steadfast Muslim.

How? If you read my writing this and you're a woman, a Muslim, I hope you guys rushing to become the most beautiful roses in the garden house of your parents. If you're a man, a Muslim, and being 'admired' one of the roses, be prepared to become pemetiknya the 'sekufu', not because of the things that are visible, but from how you pick them!

Knock the door of the fence where it grew roses, roses go to families where they grew and maintained (not home much less damage and forcing slonong!) And then ask the Creator because He is the owner of the rose and pemeliharanya essential. Ask that He is pleased to make you a pair of beings that spread goodness in the garden of earth and heaven with the glory which knocked awake!

Al-adawiyah Robiah
MHS FH Univ Eleven March (UNS), FLP Executives Solo
r_aladawiyah@yahoo.com

kafemuslimah.com

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Special Mahar Banjar

A convoy of women crowded into a small road to neighbor's house. In their hands each carrying a bundle which was decorated with apiknya. There deh about tens of people. The convoy was then greeted by mothers teaching. Type 36 houses were fully spontaneous. The event brought honesty began. Honesty?

Banjar tribe's tradition of honesty before the wedding conducted by the prospective husband in meeting the candidate's wife and family desire. Honesty in the form of an agreed amount of money by both parties at the time application. Besides, there is such thing as a mat bed nets. Mosquito mats does not mean the same mat mosquito nets, but only a figure of speech whose content the bridal room equipment, such as closets, dressers, beds, fabric, women's shoes, makeup tools, and some even get to dress in all. But it certainly based on the candidate's husband and family commitments, even modest numbers only. However, if the candidate's wife and family demands are not met and there is no agreement between the two sides, he retreated just passable.

Honesty is carried by the convoy had been, before being turned over to the side of women, through several stages. First, events and introductory remarks from each side. From the prospective man through his spokesman to express their intent and the arrival of women to come and party through the welcoming spokeswoman.

Second, first delivered in the form of money is honesty. The money was placed disebuah place had been prepared, in place of the money is there yellow rice, pandan leaves, candy, and coins (coins), and related wood spoon for stirring. Some elders (elder people) of the women, taking turns stirring the place of money. Mixing does not always mean a real stir, but only a symbol.

Third, if there is an agreement to be counted, the money is then counted in public. But this has rarely happened, unless performed by people who strongly hold the customary.

Fourthly, hand ring, if it exists.

Fifth, the surrender of other luggage. Then covered with prayer.

**

Tradition. Our society is still strong with most traditions as above. Not only from the tribe Banjar, from other tribes also have traditions like this. As with hantarannya Betawi. At its core is the same process, even for Javanese traditions may be more complicated again.

If only all women's side of the family tradition of giving way, if not impede the process towards the marriage? From some stories never heard, apparently a lot of the applicants chose to withdraw because of the tradition.

Whereas in the hadith it is mentioned that:
"Verily, the woman is the greatest blessing is the best face and at least dowry." (Abu Umar, At-Tauqani in the book of al-ahliin mu'asyarah).

"Verily, blessed among women is to ask for her hand convenience, ease of dowry, and ease of her womb." (Ahmad)

"The best of women is a good face and generous dowry." (Ibn Hibban)

Marriage is a sunnah that the Prophet should be immediately executed if there is no doubt in the hearts of both, as narrated by Abu Dawood and At-Tirmidhi that, "And when it comes to people you are willing to religion and amanahnya, then marry him, if you do not, there will be a disaster on earth and great corruption. "

If we look at the Prophet's time, maharnya Fatimah bint Muhammad is his armor karromallah wajhah Ali, because Ali did not have the others, then he sold it and then given to Faatimah as a dowry. There are also women who maharnya shahabiyah only a ring of iron. Even the dowry in the form of the verses of the Koran is, who later taught by her husband.

If we compare our time today, we see a lot of dowry, and dowry-valuable items, even extravagant feasts, waste. Though Islam has opposed wasteful spender and make Satan as brothers. As word of Almighty Allah states:

"Lo-spender spender was the devil brothers." (Al-Isra: 27).

".... and do not squander (your wealth) in a spendthrift. "(Al-Isra: 26)

".... and do not be too held it out (not too stingy and do not be too too generous), because that ye may be reprehensible and regret. "(Al-Isra: 29)

O Muslim, if we know the word of God and the Sunnah of His Messenger, what shall we do now? Come customary with reasons whether the family wants? Or stay firm to run his Shari'a? Many ways leading to China, if our families are passionate about their indigenous people, be wise enough if you try to convey (socialize) our desires from now to the family. God judge the process, not results. Try. Before the time came, picked up the mujahid! (Pilot)

kafemuslimah.com

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Determining Criteria Couples, Need?

This time Annie really stressed. Asih friend just made an unexpected maneuver. A few moments ago. Asih has come to their parents to promote a man, "Anyway, this guy was nice aunt. I'm sure he's fit for Annie, so I know deh their properties. "Her mother fell for this provocation. Promote mother had been the man to him.

Ani'm not happy for this good friend of business. Age is now 25 years old, he was already very eager to get married. But he did not want to build a special relationship with man. "Islam forbids us going out." So he said, when the mother kept asking why nobody ever visited his home to meet mom. So when Asih came to him offering him, he was very grateful. The problem is too urgent and wants Asih Ani was immediately accepted his offer. "You do not believe aja kayak with me." He was completely cornered.

He does not seem to be given the opportunity to choose and crave male ideal.

Ani was not alone facing this problem. This is a common problem for someone who has entered young adulthood (20-30 years), during this time people have been able to begin life with selecting and determining its position amid the public. He has been able to assess the ideas that have been generated by the world in general, filed a planning career, taking roles in family and community, selecting friends and married life. These last two things were becoming a problem for Annie.

Then how should we choose a partner? Do we need to establish criteria for our ideal mate? Before discussing this issue further, it is better we understand what marriage really is.

Marriage is a relationship between two people, male and female, who is known by the public, governed by a specific rule either by religion, country, and customs in society. In addition there are some elements in the marriage that need attention. These elements have been disclosed by Stinnett in Lifespan Development (1984). He said that in marriage contained the following elements:

a. Commitment
Everyone wants to feel a selfless attention to himself. Marriage is an expression of their dedication to someone. The ceremony itself is a symbol of this devotion.

b. One to one relationship.
Everyone wanted to be close with others based on emotional closeness, such as confidence, love, respect, and intimate. One task the development of young adulthood is to learn intimate with others.

c. Working together (companionship) and sharing (sharing)
Marriage is a way to dispel her loneliness and sense of teriolasi. With the marriage, we learn to work together, and sharing / sharing. Sharing, the most important in the relationship. When couples can share with each other and their needs are met, they will be more to reach satisfaction.

d. Love
Someone wanted to feel love and be loved. Life will seem hollow if we do not have a partner we love and love us.

e. Happiness (happiness)
People think that by getting married he would be happy. But you must remember that happiness does not come from marriage but it depends on how individuals interact with their partner.

f. The legitimacy of sex and child
Marriage is a social endorsement of sexual behavior and had children.

Ideal criteria, it necessary?

Ani. like every other person would have ideal criteria is to choose her life partner. He certainly wants the nature / characteristics / conditions that he was no desire on the prospective partner. These criteria are believed to be born out of principle and of the interaction with the environment.

In addition to the criteria of an ideal version of himself, in choosing candidates for the spouse, usually a person will also face the ideal criteria posed by the parents / family or by a circle.

But in some cases the spouse selection of candidates based on criteria that only an ideal, it is often difficult step in getting the person's spouse. Fixing the ideal criteria that are too high, feeling needed a miracle, or at least a large fortune to get it. This will be very potential for the emergence of difficulties in obtaining prospective spouses.

Do not even think about going to get that perfect figure, because each person brings strengths and weaknesses of each. We should just expect a perfect companion impeccable, provided we can prove that we are the perfect figure without blemish. We must be willing and able to accept charitable chest deficiencies of our lives because of potential mates at the same time we also have a potential partner enlarges the chest to receive all our faults.

Although it remains an ideal preparation of the criteria we wanted. There are two main criteria, namely:

1. Best Little Potential Conflict Incidence
If a woman wants to be a career woman is free to build his career outside the home, will certainly find a husband who supports such keinginnannya. Getting a husband who supports such keinginnya.

Get husbands who stay at home requires that certainly would be a potential conflict in the household. The above example illustrates how a person looking for potential mates with certain criteria in order to minimize the potential for conflict. All people have a tendency to look for the couple who was about not "hamper" himself.

This is the Shah-Shah, only to remember, not to be trapped in a narrow selfishness and stiff. When we set the criteria for potential mates who are not "mengahambat" actually think we're selfish, that we have desires / nature like this and the potential partner must be willing to follow our desires / our properties are. So everything was in place a proportionate and realistic, especially if we desire it does not involve a matter of principle, such as the desire to practice in peace and others.

2. Greatest potential to reach households that coveted
If someone says that the prospective partner should be someone who has a good understanding of religion, could be implicitly saying that he returned to teaching religion is that he wants to apply the principles of sailing ship in the household, so that the spouse who has a good understanding of their religion are expected to help achieve these desires.

So worth it Ani feel stressed. He certainly did not want to arbitrarily choose a spouse. What we need to remind him to do well too grandiose, in determining the criteria for prospective husbands.

Inna Mutmainnah, S. Psi.
Source: Magazine Safina No. 1/Th.I


source: eramuslim.com

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Choose Courtship or Ta'aruf ... ..?

Today's very easy to see the same people again courtship. In the streets, malls, campuses, everywhere. Especially now there's a TV show that nyomblang-in person up to pengeksposean declaration of love all.

Actually, what's it going out? Usually if there's a boy and girl love each other, one nyatain and others have received, it means already dating. For some people seeing it the way it together, eating, watching, vent-curhatan. Anyway was just for fun! There are also those who aim to get to know before the wedding.

As Muslims we need to lho scrutinize whether the "practice dating" a lot of people do this or not in accordance with the rules of Islam.

First, if another person wants both courtship continues. Ah the Bener, yes what yes. Several days phoned already troubled baseball, baseball all day in sms've missed. See you soon want to look at her face, well the world just seemed like a flowered. Especially if we are using both mojok event, where the lonely-intimate romance. Oops, watch out deh, because the Prophet SAW said, "No bersepi loneliness of a man and woman, but satan is the third person among them."

Second, if again courtship in love feels like. Forget the rest. The world seemed to belong to both of the others ngontrak. Be careful also here, later we can not forget the same purpose God created us (humans). Word, "And do not I put myself in the jinn and mankind except to worship Me." (Sura 51:56)

Third, it's no secret that in this era of sexual permissiveness versatile seasonings already be in dating (4 to 10 March issue of O Magazine, 2002). Cosmopolitan magazine also conducted research in the five largest universities in Jakarta, and the fact of who claimed to have sexual activity, as many as 67.1% the first time you make with his girlfriend.

A lot of people going out there initially lead to baseball. But because often both, there is opportunity, and diem-diem ngerubung satan already, well done. First hold hands, keep arms and shoulders, hold kiss on the cheek, and hold ... .. continue to be too far ... .. wah deh. Make no mistake You know, we are protecting our religion by prohibiting conduct that deeds. Word, "And come not near adultery; true that adultery is a nasty job and a bad way." (Qur'an 15:32) It turns out Al Quran already taking action by banning preventive approach, rather than banning it. Prophet also said, "If you are pierced with steel needles, then it is better for you than the touching of women who are not lawful." So hold the handle of the hand-tuh also should be avoided.

Fourth, apparently seeing no guarantee will continue to pursue marriage. Many people around us who have for years been dating apparently stranded on the road. Dating did not make us know all about the him. Many of his attitude changed after marriage.

Even if now we know the practice of courtship did not become a guarantee and even more against the rules of Allah and do not get ridhoNya, do we who claim to His servants, who desire paradise, who fear hell, still do it? But if instead of dating, how to meet a mate? Nowadays it's easy to believe we can not get the same people, so there needs assessments. Islam has a stable solution and OK in choosing a mate. Ngetop term Ta'aruf name, means of introduction.

First, ta'aruf it is actually only for assessment before marriage. So if one or both do not feel comfortable could finish ta'arufnya. This is better than people who go out and break it. Usually people who have linked his heart going out so that if no match is difficult and painful end. But ta'aruf, that Insha Allah the Exalted Lillahi his intention to marry, if not suitable trust, alone, might not match. No party is harmed or harm.

Second, it is more fair ta'aruf. Of courtship filled with an exchange of information about each of both goodness and ugliness. Even when we sleep often snoring, for example, we should be notified to candidates in order not menimbukan disappointment at a later date. Similarly with other deficiencies, such as certain diseases, baseball can cook, or anything else. Information not only from the candidates directly, but also from people who knew her (friend, teacher of the Koran, the prospective parents). So the candidates can not get amit-amit himself well. This is different from seeing people who are usually superficial and full of pretense. That women will be dressed-out and shy (to eat even a little scared because practically greedy). The men remain destitute even longer pretend this rich treat it (though get borrowed money from friends or the results to the parent ngerengek tuh).

Third, with ta'aruf we can try to know the candidates and gather information as much as possible in the shortest possible time. This could happen because both parties were ready to get married and ready to open up both the advantages and disadvantages. It's a huge time savings. Compare this to people who have long courtship pacarannya often still feel not get to know each other. Is not in vain?

Fourth, through ta'aruf we may propose criteria for candidates that we want. If there are things that match Alhamdulillah but if there could be considerable less comfortable with wearing your heart and mind healthy. The final decision was still based on a dialogue with God through prayer istikharah. Unlike the person who is drunk in love and courtship. Sometimes bad things at her boyfriend, for example, abusive boyfriend, likes to get drunk, but still can receive but not like his little heart. But because of love (or lust actually) was forced to accept it.

Fifth, if there is a match, usually a period of ta'aruf to khitbah (application) and to the marriage contract is not too long. This could prevent us from various kinds of fornication, including adultery liver. In addition there is no feeling of "hanging" on the part of women. Because everything is clearly the aim is to fulfill the sunna of the Prophet is married.

Sixth, in a civilized ta'aruf kept in touch between men and women. Usually there is a third party to introduce. So the possibility of a retreat (two-pair) small means we avoid adultery.

Well apparently ta'aruf many advantages than going out and Insha Allah blessed God. So, friends ... ... .. we want to find happiness in the afterlife and reach ridhoNya or find trouble, try and get breaking wrath?

oetari@alexandria.cc


Kafemuslilmah.com

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Select-Select Prospective Husband: No Kan Loss More Selective

Tri since sat on the bench two high school classes had been decided not to go out, "ogah ngabisin time, mind, heart and energy to that one." A loose principle to college is still firmly held. Actually, not just principles, but is a process for him to further divide their time familiarizing yourself, mind, heart and energy only to the Creator, Allah. For some people, maybe Tri is not lucky girl, because it is old enough yet never felt the beauty of dating periods. But not for some other, more fortunate than the Tri courtship and often mutually boyfriend, Tri has proved that he was not easily achieved by a careless man, that he was better able to control his heart, that his life could be more calm and safe until more County making love in the Creator alone. Tri convinced that her soul mate in the hands of God, when the time comes, he will come himself and ask for her hand. Tri prefer to call it dating from the Lord called Mujahid. What matters to him is how to guide and nurture ourselves to become women sholehah.

"Mbak Tri, actually type that mba dream how husband anyway?" Said Oppie. Teenage girl, the only Tri ade.
"Emangnya why?" Asked Tri short.
"Want to know aja."
"This Abisnya who do not agree, that it was shaking his head, Oppie was confused. Emang criteria you doing? "Tri smile to see her sister's face seriously.

"First, religious and moral good, then stay away from vices, a strong spirit of jihad, from the pious family, obedient to parents, self-reliance in economy, equal or better quality, can lead, responsible, fair, fine acting, not miserly , and .... "
"Stop ... stop ... stop!" Said Oppie.
"What's begituan sampe grandmothers would not have met Mbak," added Oppie.
"God willing there." Unequivocal Tri confident, smiling. Oppie open, shocked. And Tri passed from her sight.

**

Tri was not mistaken in setting the criteria for candidate companion of his life, because for him there by his side the man who would be the man who can be invited along with the Koran, prayer congregation, learn, work. Men are able to inculcate noble morality for themselves and their children someday. No excessive dreams, yet every woman wants a better life and good in the world and the Hereafter. Nothing wrong with what kind of criteria Tri diungkapnya. Choosing a mate did not need half-hearted, it's no good relying on sheer material or mere handsomeness.

For Tri, women also must have the ideal criteria, though not through dating, women also can specify options in accordance with the principle. So that Muslim women do not fall into the trap of the man who hurt the religious life of the household and later, every woman or a parent or guardian needs to selectively against a man who asks himself or the child or a woman under perwaliannya be a wife. Given the function of a husband who became a leader and a good example for her family, a Muslim woman or a parent or guardian must not underestimate the quality problem of religious men who become her future husband.

Many ways to know the candidate's husband briefly through the process without courtship. Like the Tri. Tri'm sure many people are more subjective opinion than the opinion of one person. Of course, people referred to are the people who can be trusted and trustworthy, like the opinion of the Tri family, his family, neighbors, close friends, and most importantly is a signal from God. How do Tri do that in a short time, even without passing courtship? Look nih ....

Religious morals & Noble
To determine whether the prospective husband both religious and a certain character, it can be done by:

1. Ask and investigate carefully how far the man's religion and how the moral, devout followers pray five times, run the fasting of Ramadan abiding, obedient to parents, along with neighbors, and his attitude toward the weak or poor.

2. Note the interaction friends, whether they are religious or devout run like disobeying Allaah.

Away from the sinners
1. Asked the prospective husband or immediate neighbors about the background of his life, whether he had gambling, drinking, doing free sex or not, and how his attitude toward friends who gamble or drink alcohol, or make sex intercourse free.

2. Test your knowledge of the acts that are considered major sins in Islam.

Jihad SPIRIT
1. Ask close friends if he likes to follow missionary activity, such as taking care of the mosque, helping recitation, etc., or not.

2. Observe and examine the state of his family whether they like to help missionary activities or not.

3. Test candidates with several cases of abuse or harassment of religion, whether concerned feels compelled to defend his religion or not. Observe how his attitude when knowing there is a mosque was burned by non-Islamic people, such as whether he was silent or angry.

FROM FAMILY Salih
1. Check the family about how prayer, fasting, his efforts to get sustenance, the obligation to pay zakat, etc..

2. Check the neighborhood, whether neighbors salih people or people who like disobeying Allaah and in the village there is a mosque or not.

3. Check the work environment, whether he works in place of doing business in a lawful or unlawful and whether his friend likes to do activities or adherence to the religion of sinners.

Obey PARENTS
Check on family members or close relatives and neighbors.

SELF IN THE ECONOMY
Ask directly, on family, neighbors or close friends about whether she actually worked or not. Is income eligible for a husband or wife has not.

EQUIVALENT OR BETTER QUALITY
Test his religious knowledge, intellectual (how his attitude when he does not have the money to go home, while he had heard the pain in his parents' village), mental (how his attitude when diamanahi money by others, while at the time he needed money for medical treatment), emotional (what did he do when late getting food section), compliance (how his attitude when he prohibited from entering into a room, while in the place left behind his wallet), and the seriousness and toughness (how bilka told to keep the door of his turnover, whether the person late expressly prohibited so as not to go though your own brother or future wife).

CAN LEAD
1. Ask a psychological test that can measure the level of leadership abilities of candidates.

2. Investigate the behavior and personality of candidates in the association with his friends.

3. Discover the personality of the candidate in the midst of his family, whether he who has the ability to lead or not

4. Notice the way he completed the tasks entrusted to him, if it can be done well or not.

RESPONSIBLE
1. Investigate and observe closely the behavior of candidates in the shoulder the tasks entrusted to him. (For instance how the attitude he had when entrusted the goods to be delivered to another person, whether he do it well or not)

2. Ask your close friends, how he runs the tasks that it was his duty, whether he did with full responsibility or not. (How is his attitude when asked parents to go shopping, whether the money is spent properly or not)

3. Rigorous environmental conditions and their families, whether it includes the people who like to perform the duties with full responsibility or not. (What was his manner when entrusted with saving money, whether used for personal purposes or not)

4. Test candidates with a task or persoalah to be known how much responsibility to overcome the problem.

FAIR
1. Ask friends or family nearby, whether in association with them he always act fairly ataukau sometimes fair, sometimes foul or more foul than fair or more unselfish and like to harm others.

2. Test candidates with some action, such as distributing donations of food dikampungnya tell whether he put his close friend and ignoring the others or treat them the same.

3. Discover the habits and behavior by a fellow brother in the family, whether he was a fair person or people who like to harm the interests of his brother.

SMOOTH behave
1. Note the candidate and his family habits, whether they like to do rude and cruel or not

2. Ask friends or neighbors nearby, whether the candidate or his family everyday to behave friendly and fine or coarse and cruel to people.

3. Ask the maid or waitress if you have, whether they are often treated harshly and cruelly or harshly and cruelly treated or treated fine and honorable.

4. Ask some questions that are psychological tests that can be known whether he was the type to rough and harsh or smooth and glorious.

NOT parsimonious
1. Ask friends, neighbors or family, whether the candidates are stingy or generous.

2. Test with a few cases, for example ask to help meet the needs of orphans or the aged.

3. Thorough family habits, whether they are stingy or generous.

NOT Impotent
1. Ask the candidates about the state itself. The candidate must be answered honestly or with the name of God. If he lied, he should dare to bear the risks responsible for the future. This method is less effective, but as a Muslim in this way grow Hereafter responsibility a far more severe for those concerned.

2. Ask candidates to conduct sexual health tests, whether it includes the person impotence or normal.

SUBUR AND GLAD-bred
1. Is he happy to have kids or not?

2. Ask the candidate to do medical tests to determine if he has a fertile seed or not.

So many things to express an honest Muslim woman relates to choosing the right mate. It takes time and process, enjoy the process while maintaining the honor and glory of the moral self. To find the answers to the above ways, the Muslim woman can ask for immediate help people who can be trusted. Maybe not all the way done, a Muslim woman is more important to know what dimaunya. Anyway no more selectively choose a loss husband, wong stakes heaven or hell. If it was not yet appropriate as age increased, do not be upset because God must have a plan A, B, C, etc are much better for him. God sees the process of a problem, instead of looking at the results.

(Fairuz, Source: Choosing a husband, M. Talib)

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Degree Women grab Sholehah

First is you must realize, that indeed I will not judge your face behind the veil yan beauty you wear, as well as treasures that you possess as an attraction to marry you. But beauty care, behavior, and to Allaah Islamic ketaatanmu primary. Indeed this very abstruse at times that are already filled with black stains caused by human actions, so that the women are not embarrassed anymore to sell her beauty and show competing with the private parts freely in order to satisfy his evil lust. But the Prophet taught that, to us through the hadith:

"Thou shalt not peristrikan women because of their wealth, because wealth is causing their arrogance. And do ye also peristrikan woman for her beauty, because beauty can be so humiliating and degrading their own. But women on the basis Diennya peristrikan. Indeed his skin jet black slaves but Dienya better, more worthy of you peristrikan ". (Narrated by Bukhari)

And God will not see their faces and forms jasadmu splendor. But he considered the heart and deeds you are doing. Will you be sure that women are panutanmu salafusshaleh, which has received guidance from the prophet Muhammad.

Umm Contohlah Khomsa a smiling happy to hear his children perished in the battle field. Of course you wonder, why a mother like that? the answer is because he believed his son had been waiting Jannah in the Hereafter, whereas you know, no one who does not want to end life in a place full of pleasure.

Say to your children someday:
... Thou shalt not hesitate and doubt, O my son, if you are busy collecting hartadan martyr than chasing promotion. So if you want to belong to groups of Islamic fighters who really fight for the rights of Allah and His Messenger. Give yourself and a strong devotion and also instill faith in your heart and His desire to menemuin a martyr. Imagine that Jannah is waiting, along with the angel who was decorated waiting lover-lover, that you own. As the Word of God:

"And in Jannah there are angel-eyed angel jelly, like hidden pearls" (Sura 56: 22-23) Teach our children in the future, that life in ISLAM does not mean looking at the superficial pleasures of this world so they have a happy in it and forgot about the Hereafter. Yet the Prophet teaches "Addunya mazra'atul akhiroh (The World is a farm next). So the world is not the final destination, but merely a bridge to get to a better afterlife and eternal so that they understand that the search for God keridhoan means continual sacrifice, As His Word:

"And among mankind is he who sacrificed himself for seeking God and God is keridhoan trustees to his servants." (Surat al-Baqara: 207)

Then they knew that the path they chose was not promising riches in this world that a lot, luxury homes, vehicles that many, or soft mattresses, rank and a woman, but the road is the road that they are all full of trials and thorns Datu thousand kinds of challenges. Because God will not give Jannah to us at low prices.

Berdo'alah to Him so that you are born later than rahimmu a child heir to the struggles of His prophets that they constantly pray for us. Educate them to be obedient and do good to us and to not associate God, as diwasiatkan Luqman to his children (31:31). Fahamkan them that the Apostle and the Prophet's heir struggles does not mean they only become warriors in the field of jihad, but also a devout (ascetic) at night. Our children's future is his mandate from God and therefore would be furious if we wasted it. Personal formation of the child is dependent upon us who educated him. Is he going to be people who believe or vice versa. Thou shalt pay attention to their food, interaction and education that they chose to follow.

Be thou like that can educate Siti Maryam Isa in the midst of public derision and diatribe. Or Siti Assia (Pharaoh's wife) that nurtures faith Musa in a palace filled with rebellion and infidelity. Then that is able to stabilize liver Masyitoh her children despite having to deal with boiling water for the truth. Or deperti Siti Khadijah R.ha. Ayesha R.ha, Hadrat Fatima R.ha who raised her children in the midst of poverty.

If you already understand the duties of the children in Islam, then hopefully God will bless ktia by giving children the pious, who are willing to sacrifice his life for the sake obey the commands of God, thou seharusnyalah ideology also that this world is good as well as jewelry and jewelry are women sholehah.

And one of the characteristics that must have if you want to become women sholehah and willing to obey your husband will like his Word in the letter of the An-Nisa: 34 that the man was a leader for women and good wives are those who are faithful (obedient) to husband and always maintain her honor during her husband was not home.

You shall vary with the women today who benyak neglecting husband and children, they are more busy with career, social gathering, invitations, or a waste of money and time with things that are not useful, and tends to show off his face and genitalia which is not strange. Find the pleasure of her husband in ways that have been diyariatkan Islam, because Allah has said:

"O Siti Fatimah, if you die in a state of 'Ali was not pleased with you, surely I will not ayahandamu menyolatkanmu".

Be thou valuable jewelry in the household, source of happiness hearts Conditioning and husband, berhiaslah you to please her husband, keep her heart so that you do not hurt him. Even with the small things. Tell me if it will depart for a living:

"O my husband look for a halal sustenance hand of God, do not you go home carrying illicit sustenance for us. We are willing and hungry living in misery with kosher food. "

And do not be prevented, if I were to leave for days because the call of Allah and His Messenger. Be brave like tabahnya Siti Hajar and Ismail Ibrahim abandoned middle of a barren desert. If I follow in the footsteps Yasir, so follow behind as sumayyah, when I say unto you "bitter struggle" then the answer for yourselves "Jannah's Sweetheart"

It's probably what I want to convey to you, you shall understand and follow as I show you but it must be remembered that you have done for God not for me, may God bless us and gave easy to follow instructions, amen.

antithogut

Kafemuslilmah.com

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