Friday, May 28, 2010

Do Until False Choosing Life Couple

Indecision is the feeling that often arise in the hearts of single people when to decide to whom she will marry. This feeling appears reasonable, because the decision to marry is a big decision that will affect the way a person's life, therefore they will be careful in determining the candidate companion of his life.

Such hesitancy is also felt Annisa, 24-year-old woman who happened flawless. As a Muslim he had felt uncomfortable with the men who tried to approach him. For him there is only one solution, get married. But he was so confused which one to men he received pinangannya. Annisa In the eyes of every man who tried to approach has drawbacks. Annisa now be wondering just exactly what the hell are the terms he must be set for future prospective mate?.

There was no ivory that is not cracked, so that to reveal the true proverb says no one is perfect. Every person must have a deficiency, but there are really basic personality qualities we need and we have a potential partner in order to build a happy home mahligai. Personal qualities include:

Quality diversity
Religion is a belief that affects the heart, mind and feelings of someone's behavior so that people who have the understanding and experience of religion that both will be greatly assisted in solving various problems. This condition will eventually affect the happiness and the permanence of a marriage.

Own Commitment To Develop Yourself
Every people has its own advantages and disadvantages respective msing. However, each person also has the opportunity to flourish. It is important for us to have a commitment to personal development, that is how one understands the existing deficiencies, learning from mistakes and willing to listen to the advice of others. All of this comes down to how he developed and developing themselves personally in order to become a better and wiser.

Emotional openness
This means that a person who has feelings, knowing what was felt, would share my feelings with her partner and know how to express feelings. Emotional openness to capital is important in building relationships with our partners, while capital good communication is essential in building a harmonious household.

Have Integrity
Everyone longed for a potential partner who has integrity. We want people who, honestly, both against themselves and against others, in this case especially with partners, we also want our potential partner is the person who did not play in making decisions that affect their future. That is the meaning of integrity.

Maturity and Responsibility

Having kematangaan means he can take care of herself, knows where the good / bad for him. While responsible means he understands the steps he took along with the risks that may be encountered.

Have Self-Esteem
Remember that a person can love he should love himself. Therefore, behold how he loved himself. If he had not loved her, how could she loves her partner?

Positive Attitude To Life
Those who have a positive attitude to life will try to change all obstacles into opportunities, and generally believe that everything will be good.

That all the qualities of an ideal that has to be our partners and prospective oeleh ourselves when we're getting married. But the situation faced by Annisa or similar situations, often makes us unable to think clearly. Because it is the things that we must be aware in order not to misunderstand me in choosing a spouse. Things like this may help us:

1. Do not be so quickly decided to marry her she

Provide adequate time to obtain sufficient information about your potential mate is. There are some things we need to know from our lives that the prospective partner:

a. Background of Life.
- Nasab / background includes descendants of the family relations of origin, whether derived from intact families, harmonic, or a broken home. Including forms of relationships with siblings

- Religion, norms or values of socio-economic status, ethnicity, cultural traditions and family of origin.

- Is there a hereditary disease associated with genetic factors.

b. Issues relating to the quality of self-
- Quality Dien
- Akhlaq
- The type of personality (closed / open, quiet, cheerful, emotional, impatient)
- Education, intellectual capacity, professional.
- Background of the organization, social activities.
- The ability of problem solving
- Trust yourself.

2. Do not get married at the age of the immature personally
Ready to marry means that everything is ready to face the problem requires maturity of thinking and behaving. Maturity can not be measured with a more mature age than those who were older.

Maturity also affects our choices in our potential partner. Those who are less mature tend to just amazed at the things that are only superficial.

3. Do not choose a partner just to please others
You're the lucky ones or who are suffering with your wedding. If any factor among others in bringing you to the him confirm that you alone who decides that he's best for you (of course beristiqarah first).

4. Do not marry the expectations unrealistic
Usually the initial intention of getting married affect what issues will dominate during the marriage. Satisfaction in marital life and to reject the measuring is in that hope. If not met will cause disappointment.

5. Do not marry someone that has a personality problem
Beware of people who have a personality that is hard to revamped, it needs understanding and gracefully incredible to deal with people like this. Basically every person has a problem behavior, but that should be considered is how the concentration, intensity and frequency is someone who fall into the category of personality problems is if you have problematic behaviors that dominate daily life and affect adaptations with others. Usually people like this often make others or himself feel disturbed and uncomfortable with his behavior.

Inna Mutmainnah, S. Psi.
Source: Magazine Safina No. 2/Th.1

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